Tuesday, August 21, 2018

And The Number of the Counting Shall Be Three


I wrote this article for the monthly newsletter of my local Society for Creative Anachronism.

The article of general interest to anyone who camps, and I frequently get requests for it, so I thought I'd host it here where it might be a little more accessible and easy to find.  

'gina


It’s the time of year when we’re spending a lot of time outdoors in this gorgeous weather, at events, during mundane activities, and even in our own backyards. There’s a lot of things out there in the bushes we need to watch out for, and I hear a lot of misinformation circulating around. 

Even about the bushes themselves. 

I’m talking about the bane of my existence, the one thing I fear more than ticks, mosquitoes, fire ants, bears, or storms. Yes, folks, I’m talking about Poison Oak, Poison Ivy, and Poison Sumac.  It’s a cliché, but it’s true: “Leaflets three, let it be.”

We’ll start out by talking about a few common common lines of thought about the subject, some true and some not. 

False...provided you’ve showered since exposure:  Don’t scratch the rash, you’ll spread it. 
Truth: Usually, the rash comes up on your skin a few days to a week after you’ve been exposed. If you’ve showered since then, the urushiol (the oil that causes the rash) will have washed away. The “spreading” effect that has spawned this idea is due to the fact that the rash comes up on skin at different rates. The liquid inside the blisters does not cause a reaction. However, don’t scratch hard or break the blisters, as doing so leaves you open to infection. 

False...provided you’ve showered since exposure: Don’t touch the rash, you'll catch it. 
Truth: Again, the rashes are not contagious. They don’t spread the rash on you, and they won’t spread it onto other people. Now, what you cando is get exposed to the plant, get the urushiol on you, and then go up and shake hands with someone or hug them. If the urushiol gets on them, they can get a rash, even if they were indoors all day. At that point, it’s like the flu in that you can get it from a doorknob. I’m talking directly to you, people who love to say “Oh, it’s cool, I’m immune to the stuff.” Please be aware that many people are not so lucky and wash up if you’ve been exposed, unless you like the idea of being a misery vector.

False: Sometimes Poison Ivy has five leaves instead of three. Sometimes it has thorns.
Truth: Sometimes Poison Ivy grows mixed in with Virginia Creeper, which looks very, very similar to it except for the five leaves instead of three.  It is possible to get a rash from Virginia Creeper, but for a different reason entirely. Virginia Creeper contains oxalate crystals, which can irritate some people’s skin. The plants are not the same species, and for most folks, Creeper is harmless.

Blackberry is another look alike, only it has thorns. Poison ivy never has thorns. But often it does grow where wild blackberry grows. It’s sneaky like that. Still, it’s like identifying snakes....if you aren’t sure what you’re dealing with, assume it could potentially hurt you and avoid it. 

As for Box Elder...to my eye, it just looks so much like Poison Ivy I can't tell where the tree stops and the Poison Ivy vine that's frequently growing on it starts. It happens, and it's a cruel prank as far as I'm concerned. 

Usually False: I got exposed once, and I didn’t get a rash, so I must be immune.
Truth: You probably won’t the first time get exposed. It’s that next time that you have to worry about. The rash is an immune response. And it’s an unusual one in that it tends to be delayed in most people (hence the long lag in time between exposure and the manifestation of the rash). You might think you’re immune, but every time you get exposed, you risk that being the time you end up finding out how much fun steroid shots aren’t.

False. And possibly criminally negligent: I’ll just burn it out.
Truth: Smoke from this sort of plant could literally kill you or someone else. It can go straight into the lungs, cause a respiratory reaction, and cause you or someone else to asphyxiate. Best way I’ve found to get rid of it is to spray it with Roundup Heavy Brush Killer and wait a week or two. Chopping it out just encourages it and fills it with spite. So poison it, wait till it dies, then very carefully remove the dead plant and bury it. Be aware it can still get revenge even when dead. Which brings us to....

False: It’s winter. I don’t have to worry about it now.
Truth: Oh, yes, my friends. Yes, you do. And it’s even worse in the winter because it’s harder to identify it. Look for vines with reddish, hairy looking bark and little woody shoots that stick straight up and have a little bends near the top. Maybe there will be the remnants of tiny white berries on the stems. Sometimes you can find the dead leaves in the surrounding leaf litter. It can still get you even dead. It’s like the mummy or Nosferatu. Only nastier.

Poison Ivy and Oak prefer disturbed areas, but they can and do grow just about anywhere. I’ve seen them in all sorts of environments, particularly the types of places we like to have events. I’ve seen them in parks and even at Riverbanks Zoo hiding in a planted bed. 

Poison Ivy: This plant matures into a vine and covers trees, fences, anything it can get around. The sets of three leaves are pointed, satiny to shiny, with a jagged margin. The stem on the middle leaf of the trio is often a little longer than the other two. It grows into a vine that when mature, is covered with reddish, hairy fibers that look like they might be fun to touch. They aren’t.

Poison Oak: Same three leaf rule, but the leaves are rounder and the lobes irregular and random. Again, satiny leaves. This plant matures into a gawky-looking shrub that can reach about ten feet, but usually it stays in the two to four foot tall stage in my experience. It gets small green berries that turn white.
Both plants are beautiful in the fall, turning bright shades of yellow and red.

Poison Sumac: Thankfully, fairly rare. It grows in wetlands and is far less common. Which is good, because it’s brutal. The one time I got tangled up with sumac, it sent me to the ER. It can grow into a good sized tree, and has long, compound leaves of seven to thirteen leaves. It looks nothing like Oak or Ivy. I haven’t seen one since (I was at an SCA event in Georgia, actually.), so I haven’t taken any pics of sumac. It would probably behoove you to at least have a passing familiarity with it. You aren’t likely to encounter 
one, but if you do, you could really get messed up.

Learn to identify these. I would almost say avoid Google Images, because I have seen all kinds of crazy things identified as Poison Ivy that isn’t. However, if you do use Google Images, just make sure your sources are reputable. Cross reference heavily. In any case, I’d rather you be wrongly afraid of Virginia Creeper or Sassafras or Box Elder and be safe than not be aware of anything and end up in misery. So if you err, err on the side of caution.

If you are exposed to it, or think you may have been, simply rinse your skin off in cold water (this is important. Use cold water first to avoid opening up your pores.). A splash in a creek or stream will do fine, even a careful rinse-off out of a canteen will help. I carry bottled water in my van at all times for this very reason. You have a very short grace period once you’ve been exposed (I'd call an hour seriously pushing it. Anything less, your mileage may vary.), but it’s not that hard to get it off your skin. 

If you know you’re going to be exposed beforehand, applying Ivy Block to your skin creates a barrier to keep the urushiol off, buying you a little time to clean up before your immune system kicks in and goes crazy. There is also a product called Technu which can be used to help get the urushiol off after exposure. I’ve used both, and I recommend both, but in all honesty, plain cold water will work if that’s all you have. Be aware of urushiol contaminating your clothing, too, and act accordingly. I recommend undressing right there in front of your washing machine and not contaminating your living areas. Rinse off with cold water, and then...and ONLY then, take a hot shower. Under no circumstances should you take a bath. A bath will redistribute any urushiol left on your skin and coat you in something you really don’t want to be coated in.

These things might sound extreme. However, I’m the most allergic person I know to this stuff, I spend a lot of time in the woods, and I rarely get into this kind of trouble. That’s because I am paranoid and I treat urushiol as if it were radioactive kryptonite. Because for me, it is. It is possible to have an anaphylactic response to this stuff. Not only that, but wallowing obliviously in the stuff during your first week of Pennsic can really ruin your will to live the second week. You don’t want ivy rash at War. You don’t want it ever. Pay attention, learn a little woodlore, play safe!


Monday, November 14, 2016

The Road Home Is Now Available!

Howdy, friends, just a quick update to let you know that The Five Dollar Mail Book 3: The Road Home is now released.

Again, thanks for all your support. Watch this space for info on the next projects!

If you're just joining us, I invite you to poke around a bit, and if you like the content here, please come visit us over at Wattpad for more content.

Books are all available both as eBooks or as gorgeous trade paperbacks.



Riders & Kickers: The Five Dollar Mail Anthology 



Talk to you soon! Happy trails!

Love
-gina


Saturday, July 16, 2016

We're Still Here, We're Just Hanging Out On Wattpad

Howdy, all,

Hoping everyone who was reading here is finished up. For the time being, we are directing traffic over to Wattpad, so the whole unedited story is still available for free, just not here right now.  This is so I can better promote my book series. All the extra stuff is still right here at this site, as well as the first ten or so chapters and all the extra side stories.

I can still be reached at this site. Drop a comment anywhere and it goes straight to my inbox.

Book Three, The Road Home, is nearly ready to be released, so very soon, you'll be able to get the finished, edited book series, including the extra stories, in its entirety from Amazon (and the Barnes and Noble website, etc.).

If you're just joining us, I invite you to poke around a bit, and if you like the content here, please come visit us over at Wattpad for more content.

Books are all available both as eBooks or as gorgeous trade paperbacks.


Book 1: The Green

Book 2: Lynch's Boys

Riders & Kickers: The Five Dollar Mail Anthology 

Book 3: The Road Home (to be announced Summer 2016)

Talk to you soon! Happy trails!  -gina

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Holiday Schedule for the Home Stretch

So, we're in the home stretch of this thing, both for the year and for the Five Dollar Mail series. Been a crazy busy holiday season so far for us (we're catching up on a lot of lost time!). I thought I'd be ready to post tonight, but the truth is I am just not. This is the last bit of our story, and I don't want to rush it, so I'm just going to allow myself to run on a holiday schedule for the next week or so. I may having something up this weekend, but I'm not sure how that's gonna go yet, but I fully intend to have something up for next week.

I don't want to just bang something out at this point and post it hastily. This is the final bit, you know? While I am really ready to be done and move on to other projects, a large part of me isn't quite ready to let it go yet.

I got called in last week to reprise my "La Befana" thing at the kid's school I can't tell you how much I love doing this. I read Old Befana to them (the linked version of this story is so beautiful). Handed out some candy, dispensed some hugs, and talked about Italian Christmas traditions. The main thing the children seem to love the most, though, is the hat. I don't know if you can tell, but it's covered with bird and animal puppets, including a cardinal that sings and a nest full of baby birds. I always have to stoop down so they can make the bird sing and the babies wiggle.

And yes, before you ask, I dug Radagast the Brown. A lot. I actually considered adding some birdshit to my kit.

That broom you see there was made by none other than Bill Frazer, who is married to my editor Marie and who took the pic of me on the back of the book covers. I just added the Christmas bling to it.

Anyways, I'll see you before Christmas, so until then, enjoy this season of peace and be safe.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Why Paddy's Not At Work Today

So, I've had an...interesting...week.

I don't know if you're aware, but we had a bad flood out here a couple weeks ago. It didn't really affect me where I live, thank goodness. I live on a high, sandy ridge, so I was safe. The only problem we really had was later, the water pressure in the pipes was so excessive that many people had their plumbing damaged. I have some old plumbing in the upstairs, and the valve on the shower cracked. I came home from music practice one night to find water dripping through the ceiling onto my kitchen floor.

Travel in town was iffy because a lot of roads were out. So I tried to cobble together a fix using spare parts from another valve I had lying around. No good, valve too far gone. And while I'm up there tinkering around in the attic messing with the upstairs plumbing, I forgot to cement one of the pipe elbows I'd put in.

Pipes capped off
Remember when I told you the pressure was excessive? I walked up to the street, turned on the water, and heard people screaming "turn it off! turn it off" from inside my house.

So, swearing and cringing, I turn it off and go back inside. Niagara falls was happening in my kitchen. Now we're down one valve, one pipe, one drowned light fixture. I have no choice but to cap the pipes until I can get to the hardware store at this point.

Nice.
The next day, a big chunk of wet drywall collapsed all over my breakfast nook.

Fast forward to this Sunday, when I went up there to try to fix all the damage I'd managed to do to my home. My attic is a cramped mess, so I decide that before I pull up the plywood up there (I don't have a proper floor up there, just plywood on the joists) so I can see what's going on, I need to clean up a bit and toss some old stuff.

And that's when I fell through the freaking ceiling.

The kid, sitting on the sofa, heard a noise and looked up just in time to see the ceiling in the living room burst open and what she thought was pink cotton candy come exploding out.

Cotton candy for everyone!
I didn't fall all the way through, because I fell onto the main joist on my way down and for a few minutes, thought I had broken my damn leg. The husband kind of crammed some of the drywall back in place, but before that, it was hanging down over his favorite chair like the Sword of Damocles. Thank God he had gotten up when he did, because five minutes later, his chair was covered in broken drywall and Pink Panther insulation.

And to add insult to injury, the kid and husband had been folding clean laundry down below, and now much of it had to be re-laundered because it got covered with fiberglass particles.

All this tribulation and horseshit because of a leaky shower valve.

And now we got the holidays coming up and my kitchen and living room have destroyed ceilings and I have one single shower left in my house that works, and even that one leaks.

I thought I'd maybe have some time to bang out a post last night and today, but then a friend was in desperate, serious need of long road trip out of town for a couple hours to clear her head. So we got in my van and drove. And I promised the husband I would work on getting the shower up and running tomorrow. So I am really sorry about all this, but I'm gonna have to take a breather this week and fix some stuff before we end up having to shower in the backyard with a garden hose.

Sometimes your week doesn't pan out the way you think it will.

On the upside, my leg ain't broke.  

Here's a funny little lego video of the Irish song, Why Paddy's Not At Work Today.  

Paddy, I feel ya.  

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Riders & Kickers Finally Released!

Finally, after much tribulations, floods, panic, gnashing of teeth, and tearing of hair, Riders & Kickers, The Five Dollar Mail Anthology, is finally released!

It contains the holiday tales and various other short stories found on the website, plus Ask Wash and some general info about the Pony Express. It also contains two new previously unpublished stories: one co-written with longtime reader Erin Sackett, which is illustrated with never-before-seen illustrations by Diego Candia, and the other, a substantial novella by my husband Jim Shelley, who has done quite a bit of collaboration with me about story arcs for FDM over the years. To be honest, The Five Dollar Mail really wouldn't exist without Jim's support and creative contributions, so I love that he wrote a story of his own for this.

It also contains a sneak preview of the cover for what will be the third and final book in the trilogy, The Road Home, which I am finishing up writing now. 

Anways, Riders & Kickers is available both as an ebook, and also as a beautiful trade paperback (not linked on Amazon as of this writing, so if you want the trade, just do a search on Amazon for it. It's there.). I hope you enjoy it!

As always, thanks for reading!

-'gina


Sunday, October 4, 2015

Statewide Marco Polo Match!

Head's up, y'all. My town is pretty much underwater right now. I have no doubt we're gonna be declared a federal disaster area before it's over, if it hasn't already.

I lived through Hurricane Hugo, and I ain't never seen anything like this shit that's going on here right now. I currently live on a high ridge made of sharp sand, so my place is okay, but I can't really go anywhere and I don't know how long power and internet is going to hold.

If it holds, I'm gonna keep to my normal posting schedule. If you don't hear from me, I'm sitting in the dark holding a flashlight and hoping I don't have to pull the kayaks out, and you'll hear from me when you hear from me.

On the upside, if I don't lose internet and/or power, looks like Riders & Kickers will be released next week!

Stay dry!

-Gina

Thursday, September 24, 2015

The Road Home: No regular chapter this week, Updates

Howdy all,

Gonna forgo my regular chapter this week for a couple reasons. First and foremost, I have been working on Riders & Kickers. Four proofs on this thing. I got The Green and Lynch's Boys in two goes. Riders & Kickers is half the size of those and for some reason, has taken more work to get done.

I can't decide if I am more picky or if I am simply distracted. It's been a hell of a year, most of which has gone by in dreamlike and often painful blur.

Anyways, I kicked the third proof copy back this week, so keep your fingers crossed.

The other thing is that I am having to read over the chapters that will comprise the next, and final, book. Yes, we are coming up on the end of the trail. I've got to end this somewhere, and I want to make sure everything's tied up all nice and neat before I'm done. So like the other books before it, I have to re-read it to make sure it pans out right. We have a little ways to go...a couple more miles.  The idea of finishing makes me as sad as it does happy. I've been doing this so long, I'm a little scared to stop.

Between re-reading Riders & Kickers until I want to puke, and sitting down and reading chapters 200+ as if I were just a reader, I can't write. Too much going on in my head. Fortunately, I'm almost done reading. I think I'll be back on track next week. But I don't want to rush it. Gotta do it right. I really do feel like I am  riding tired through the purple dusk with a warm, yellow light shining through the trees ahead of me. A few more fresh horses, and we'll be home.

See you next week.

Thursday, August 27, 2015

Gonna Be Late This Week

Murray
Howdy, all. I'm sorry, but I am running late this week. Hoping to have a post up Friday or Saturday. I had intended to work all through today on stuff, but as it turned out, my day started at around 3:30 am. We have a house rabbit, and he was unhappily and repeatedly thumping on the floor in an attempt to alert the household that we were all in mortal peril. Strange sounds were coming out of one of my kitchen cabinets,  and me and the husband ended up sitting in the dark with a flashlight, trying to figure out what was going on.

Murray here was going on. He had evidently discovered the hole in the floor where a bathroom renovation has been on hold since before Jim started chemo. And he was sitting in my kitchen eating a waffle cone.

So I set some humane traps and went back to bed. It was, after all, 3:30am, and I had gone to bed rather late.

Long story short, Murray ended up in my bedroom.  It's a little hard to relax when you know a wild animal is sitting in your closet, watching you try to sleep. Instead of finishing up my work, I spent most of the day trying to capture an opossum, calling wildlife rehab to make sure I didn't need to bring him in for dehydration, and relocating him safely to a nice place in my backyard, close to where he was probably living before invading my home.

So I honestly spent the day so horribly exhausted I actually feel drunk. I can't work like this.

Artist's Interpretation by Robin White
Anyways, my friends thought the entire opossum story sounded like a children's book. Rabbit discovers opossum in house, opossum sneaks into closet and hides befriends a hat. Robin even illustrated it after it was determined by Pam that the story was better if the opossum was actually wearing the hat instead of just sitting on it.

Anyways, Murray is back in his own environment outside and I promise I won't clean up my closet, which is now in shambles, until I have posted this week's update.

See you soon!

-gina

Thursday, July 2, 2015

Working Hard on Riders and Kickers This Week

Bender

Hi, all. I threw all my energy into typesetting the late but upcoming Riders & Kickers this week, and didn't want to stop. I had quite a bit to do on it, including a panicked call to my editor yesterday, but I'm back on track now and finally have the main manuscript ready to go and the pictures lined up and prepped.

I'm so bleary-eyed I can hardly see.

Lily
Now, I just have to tweak the typesetting and finish up the cover, and hopefully I'll have a proof in my hands by late next week. Keep your fingers crossed and think good thoughts.

I hate missing a chapter at this point, but honestly, I can't write right now. I get too wound up and hyper-focused with this stuff.

I did make some of my faux ambrotypes some time back for Wattpad, and realized that I don't think I have shown them to you. So here they are if you have not seen them.

Storm
Anyways, I am planning on posting a chapter next week, so here's hoping to get this over with quickly so I can get back on schedule.

Have a great holiday weekend and stay safe!

-gina

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Hellbender by Laura Hollingsworth

Howdy, all!

I'm busy working on the layout for Riders and Kickers this week, so I'm taking the week off so I can concentrate on that. I'm hoping to get that out next month sometime, so keep your fingers crossed. But never fear, the amazing Laura Hollingsworth, the creator of The Silver Eye webcomic, has done a picture of Bender for us.

She gave me two preliminary sketches, one of him shrugging into his coat, and one of him standing still. It was a tough choice because they were both awesome, but we ended up going with the more animated "coat" pictures. I really love the movement in Laura's artwork. She really brings the characters to life.

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Bet You Didn't Know That Today Is Thanksgiving, Did You?

Jim ringing the bell
Hi, all. I will have your regular chapter up by Friday at the latest. I'm just not really ready to post it. It's been a very busy week.

We're having a Thanksgiving supper at my place tonight and I've been trying to get things in order for that. I am having a hard time concentrating on writing this week.

I didn't talk about this on here because it was hard to talk about, and because I didn't want it to be that kind of blog. And because I was afraid and depressed and didn't want to bring it here. But what we are celebrating is my husband Jim's last PET scan. He is cancer-free. So we are celebrating, and I just want to focus on that today.

He wasn't cancer free for the last six months or so. He was diagnosed with advanced colon cancer, which had metastasized to his liver. .I've seen too many blogs that followed someone's fight that didn't have happy endings. Maybe it was superstition, I dunno. I don't like people to see me bleed, I guess.

He responded great to the chemo, thank God. He is cancer-free right now. The chemo kicked his ass...but while it was kicking his ass, he was kicking cancer's ass. That picture there is him ringing the bell in the chemo lab. When cancer patients finish their chemo, it's traditional to ring the bell. It's a great tradition. It gives a lot of hope to all the other patients, and gives everyone a goal to look forward to. We were so happy that it was finally Jim's turn.

So, if you're wondering what happened to the anthology, you'll be happy to know Marie has it in her hot little hands right now. The holdup was that Jim wanted to write a novella to include in the book. So while he was on chemo, he wrote a novella. It was slow going, because he had some pretty bad mind-fog, but he did it like a boss. In fact, quite a bit of the chapters you've been reading since November were written while I sat in an infusion center with him. I actually met McKenna, the author of Gunslinger's Grave, online while sitting in the chemo center with a laptop on my lap.

Anyways, that's what's been going on in our lives over here. If all goes well, the anthology should be out in a couple months at the most. And your regular chapter will be here Friday night at the very latest.

We have decided that today is Thanksgiving...so Happy Thanksgiving!

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Still Water Woman and Jesse Hanson, Riders and Kickers

Still Water Woman

I am taking a week off from writing, because I am working on editing a never-published novella that is going into Riders and Kickers. My husband Jim has written an entire novella that centers around Tommy, and I'm going doing the re-write on it before we send it to Marie, my editor. When I get into heavy edit mode, it's hard to write, so I just decided to focus solely on editing this week. The novella a fun adventure tale, and I know you will all like it as much as I do. Finally, Tommy will get some airtime.

So, instead I made a couple "tintypes" of Still Water Woman and Jesse. Love making these. I am very happy with how Still Water Woman came out. I used a picture of the Yankton Lakota musician and activist, Zitkala-Å a. I chose her as a model because she's got such beautiful strength in her face. So I gave her a haircut and the hint of a traditional plains dress, and then sandwiched it with a picture of an old tintype, and then added some texture taken from an daguerreotype.


Jess Hanson
Jesse I did the same way, although unfortunately, I don't know the model's name. Not sure I like it as well, so I might do another one at some point. I do, however, love the tarnished and discolored tin in this one. The more tore up these things are, the better I like them.

Which is ironic when you consider that back in the Bad  Old Days, when I worked in a darkroom, one of the things I did was take old photos that actually did look like this and restore them. Which was a bit of a trick, because back then, nobody had Photoshop or even digital images. Had to use what I called Stupid Darkroom Tricks, photo bleach, and a thin, black or brown ink called SpotTone. I was very, very good at it. So I kind of enjoy the irony that I am now deliberately destroying perfectly good photos by Photoshopping damage onto them.

Anyways, hope you are enjoying these as much as I am enjoying making them. The regular posting will be back on next Thursday. See you then!


Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Happy Birthday, Pony Express!

Today is the 155th birthday of the Pony Express, and as I'm sure most of you have seen, Google has made a Google Doodle to commemorate this day in history!

I guess it goes without saying that I am a huge fan of the Pony Express, so you know how excited I am to see this as a Doodle. They even made it into an cool little game where you guide the little Pony Express guy through an obstacle course to pick up letters and keep moving east, presumably to eventually make it to the last stop on the route, Saint Joseph, Missouri. 

Google's Map of the trail from Sacramento to Saint Joseph

I named my rider Luis. Luis didn't appreciate being pitched face first into cactus. I kind of suck at playing the game. So I never really made it to Saint Jo.



Anyways, this is a really awesome video about both the history of the Pony Express and the making of the Doodle. If you haven't seen it, you can view it here: https://www.google.com/doodles/155th-anniversary-of-the-pony-express


I at least managed to get as far as swapping horses.



Friday, March 6, 2015

Sneak Peek: A Christmas Odyssey

Howdy, all. Jim, being a wonderful husband, talked me out of working all day on writing. He say's I'm too tired and worn out from the week. And I let him talk me out it because he's hot and I adore him. Instead, he talked me into taking a nap after posting the first chapter from a novella that we co-wrote (well, we discussed it and then he wrote it and I edited it). This novella will be a never-before seen, brand new Five Dollar Mail story about none other than Tommy Page, and will appear in its entirety in the upcoming The Five Dollar Mail: Riders and Kickers anthology.

Jim's work has been published in various horror magazines, and he is now a force in the digital comic scene with his own project, 
Flashback Universe. He will be working with me on the next project after Five Dollar Mail, so I thought it would be a fun introduction to have him write a piece for the anthology.

-'gina

 

Chapter One: The Girl That Liked Dime Novels



Tommy  by Angela Taratuta
Standing out on the Green River town stagecoach depot in the early morning chill of a December morning, Tommy Page found himself nervously waiting for three things. The icy winter air had, once again, formed a sparkling fog on the lenses of his spectacles, and as he wiped them clear, he mentally tallied his expectations as if ticking chores off a list.


First, there was Christmas. While he no longer looked forward to it with the excitement he had when he was a child, the idea of enjoying the holiday with his friends at the station had renewed his interest in the season. He was especially looking forward to some of the delicious dinner treats Fiona and Lily had hinted at.


Second, there was the latest installment of Malaeska, the Indian Wife of the White Hunter, in the Beadle’s dime novel series. While the stories could tend to get a little outlandish at times, Tommy found himself addicted to the series. That the newest edition was supposed to arrive today on the stage coach is how Tommy happened to find himself out on the stoop in the brisk weather. He wanted to meet the driver and be sure to get a copy before they went into town. He’d been on a run to Three Crossings when the previous edition had arrived on the stage, and he’d ended up missing out. He ended up having to pay double the price to Jed Ward, a boy in town, who charged him an outlandish 20 cents just to read his copy after he was done with it. What he’d gotten was a dog eared, torn version with water stains and one of the illustrations missing. In hopes of preventing that from happening again, he had traded his regularly scheduled run today with Jessie...or maybe it was Luis.  Jessie and Luis had a habit of trading their runs between themselves so often that it  caused confusion in the station. Lynch had asked them politely to refrain from such shenanigans by grunting “I reckon you boys need to stop this horseshit!” the last time they’d done it. Unfortunately, they still were apt to trade on the sly from time to time, seeing how the exact meaning of “this horseshit” was open to interpretation.


And while he was eager for Christmas and anxious to read the new dime novel, neither of these two impending events were the source of his nervousness. No, what had his palms sweating and his heart beating fast was the third thing he was waiting for: a chance to speak to the young girl who was walking his way at this very moment.


He had been watching this girl ever since she appeared down at the end of the wooden sidewalk that ran along the main street through town. At first she was just a blurry image on the horizon through his dust-smudged spectacles, but has she was drawing nearer, Tommy was able to ascertain that she was indeed a person...a girl...a pretty girl...headed his way. He found himself going from curious interest to genuine excitement at the idea that she might be coming over to speak to him.


Now, normally, Tommy would have assumed any visiting girl at the mail depot was some wayward admirer of Luis or, more likely, Jesse. But what gave Tommy hope this morning was the exact nature of her arrival.


Tommy had heard from Mr. Thomason, the owner of the mercantile, that there was a girl his age who also bought the dime novels. This idea fascinated Tommy in a way he couldn’t quite explain or escape. Could there actually be a girl in town who shared his love of stirring adventure and heart-stopping action? He had to meet her. Imagine the rousing conversation they could have as they recounted their favorite stories and characters! And the fact that Mr. Thomason had mentioned that she was cute had only fanned the flames of his fascination.


And as Tommy watched this young girl walk up, he had to concede that her appearance did indeed fit the definition of “cute”. Actually, as Tommy stole furtive looks in her direction (all while attempting to coolly ignore her, as Saint once instructed him), Tommy realized that cute was a weak description for such a girl. With her long brown hair, piercing dark eyes, regal cheekbones, and aquiline nose, she possessed a bewitching presence that defied the cramped confines of a word like “cute.” What would the correct word be? he thought, his heart racing.


Coltish, Tommy thought, but then nixed it as sounding too young.


Gorgeous. Hm...better... He shook his head. Somehow, that suggested an older woman.


Winsome? He had seen that word applied to cute girls in his dime novels, but he thought it had something to do with smiling.


Fetching was a bit better, but it remind him more of dogs than anything else.


As she approached, his mind swirled in a morass of synonyms and sounds as it searched for the appropriate adjective, the perfect word, that bit of lyrical truth that would correctly define her forever...


“Hello. Nice morning isn’t it?” she said, her face lighting up with a welcoming smile as she stepped onto the stoop.


With a start, Tommy turned towards her and was suddenly overcome by the answer to his unspoken question. “Stunning!” he blurted out in awkward exclamation.


The young girl cocked a dark eyebrow and tilted her head, the polite smile on her face disappearing. In Tommy’s mind, he could imagine Saint going on and on about first impressions and having a good opening line. He could tell he hadn’t said the right thing, but he couldn’t think now what the right thing actually was. Watching her standing there wasn’t helping. She seemed to be re-tabulating some mental calculation and Tommy was afraid he wouldn’t like the answer. At long last, a smile broke across her face, and she said, “While that seems like a rather bold word to describe this cold morning, I applaud your passionate appreciation.”


Tommy wasn’t entirely sure he followed all that, but it sounded like a positive response, so he followed up with the most evocative rejoinder he could muster. “Hello! I’m ...my name is Tommy Page.”


The girl tipped her head a bit as if making a small bow and said, “Pleased to meet you Tommy Page. I’m Theresa Perrin, but everyone calls me Terry.”


His name sounded amazing rolling off her tongue. It took him a few seconds before he replied. At least, he hoped it was just seconds, as time seemed to be dissolving all around him. “Are you...what are you doing here?” he asked, instantly regretting the accusatory phrasing of the question. Yes, he did want to know why she was here, but he didn’t mean to sound so blunt.


Arching her brow in confusion, she looked at the post office beside them.


“Is this where the stagecoach unloads?”


“Yes, it is.”


“Ah. That’s what I was hoping. Mr. Thomason at the mercantile told me that if I wanted to get my hands on the new Beadle’s book, I would be best to try and pick it up here.”


You...you’re the girl who...It’s you that buys the dime novels!” Tommy exploded.  “I thought it might be you!”
 
With a wild gush, Tommy started to recount his favorite moments from the ongoing Malaeska serial novel. While he wasn’t sure what to say to girls, he definitely knew his dime novels. He could tell her every detail about every dime novel he had ever read.


And to any onlooker, it would have looked as if he was doing just that very thing.


Indeed, he was so overcome by this chance to share his love for the genre, he failed to notice that his audience seemed to be getting bored.


Terry took a deep breath, as if to bolster herself from the battering waves of his enthusiasm, raising her hands before her as if to press back the tide. “Hold on,” she said, chuckling nervously. “I don’t read them. I get them for my brother,”


He words were an icy bucket of water dousing him. If he had been a waterfall of words before, he was now a dry well. For a few uneasy seconds he didn’t know what to say. Time stretched like winter molasses, hanging between them in awkward, excruciating silence.


He opened his mouth, and closed it, pulling his glasses behind his ears. “Oh.” Flailing in an ocean of random advice he had picked up from the older riders, he found a lifesaver from Wash: ‘It’s easy to talk if you know what you’re talking about, so it is. And the only way to know is to ask.


Tommy retrieved his courage, dusted it off, and tried again.  “How is it that you happen to be picking up the dime novel for your brother?”


Terry leaned her back against the depot’s shingled front wall and relaxed a bit. “Oh, it’s a long story, Mr. Page, I shouldn’t bore you with all that.”


His awkward tension relented a bit. “You could...I mean, I’d love it if you bored me.” He cringed, wincing. What is wrong with you, you blathering idiot?


She laughed,and gave him a forgiving smile. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”


Her brother was named Charlie, and he was eight years old. However, despite his young age, he was quite a good reader, as Terry had been teaching him to read him since he was five years old.


The reason Tommy had never seen Terry in Mrs. Plunkett’s classroom is because she had completed school back East prior to her family's arrival in Sweetwater.


Her family lived on the opposite side of the Green River, where her parents had a small farm.


Their father was away back East tending to their recently deceased grandfather’s estate. Mr. Perrin had hoped to be back by Christmas, but business complications had made his return impossible.


During the conversation, Tommy told Terry a bit about himself, focusing on his job as a Pony Express rider, the places he had gone, and the people he worked with. Occasionally, he would mimic some of the other riders, which helped illustrate their personality. Even though Terry didn’t know any of them, she found the impersonations entertaining. As the morning passed, they were so caught up in their exchange that neither of them realized that the stage coach was running late.


“So, Miss McMillian,” Tommy continued with the story of how Lily came to work at the station, his face twisted in his best Erastus Lynch impersonation. "Does a lot of cussin’ bother you?”


Terry laughed out loud at the punch line, and Tommy felt quite pleased with himself...until Lynch stepped out onto the stoop with a dour look on his face. Albeit, this was sort of his natural expression, but this morning there was an intensity on his furrowed brow that told Tommy something was wrong. Did Lynch hear that?


Lynch looked at Tommy, wearing a far scarier version of the pinched scowl Tommy had been wearing moments before. His pale, intense gaze traveled from Tommy’s face to Terry, and he nodded knowingly to himself. He raised an eyebrow and settled his eyes back on Tommy. “You been here all morning?”


“Yes, sir. I...uh...since b...breakfast.”


“No sign of the coach?”


“No, sir.”


Lynch turned his attention towards the horizon.  “Hmph.”
He gave the skyline a frustrated glare as if to provoke it into revealing the overdue stage coach. Then he turned towards the station. “Let me know as soon as you see it,” he muttered over his shoulder as he went back inside. “I reckon you’ll still be standing here.”


“Yes, sir.” Tommy said, deflating. He was relieved that Lynch wasn’t upset at him, but a new concern was growing now. Where’s the stage coach?

 
“Was that?...” Terry started to ask.
 
 
“Yeah.” Tommy interrupted her question with a hushed, faraway reply. “Old Man Lynch.”

 
Like Lynch, Tommy scanned the horizon. His mind was busy conjuring up grim reasons the stage might be late. He didn’t want to think something could have happened to Saint and Wash. Normally, I wouldn’t worry too much...but bad weather can blow in without warning this time of year. Nor did he want to explain the morbid possibilities. In an attempt to prevent his concern from spreading to Terry, he made a game attempt to restart their previous conversation.

 
“So, I guess...I mean...is it hard raising chickens?”

 
She played along, answering the question and asking him more about the station. To anyone listening, there would have been little difference in the tone and tenor of their dialogue. However, to Tommy, it seemed their words were colder than before and sentences hung in the air longer than they should.

What’s delaying the coach?