Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Guest Post: Dirty Revenge by Evelyn

This is a post by Evelyn, a reader. I have to say, I laughed out loud several times when I read it! Thanks, Evelyn, hope to hear more from you. I really enjoyed this a lot.


“Luis!” An angry bellow shattered the early morning calm, startling Lily enough to drop the iron-cast pan she was holding onto the kitchen floor with a high pitched metallic ringing. A door slammed somewhere upstairs, shaking the whole house enough to feel it through the frame of the station. Fiona smothered a laugh at Lily’s expression, shaking her head wordlessly.

Footsteps thundered down the stairs, giving only a moment's warning before Saint himself stomped into the kitchen. His black hair was messy and knotted- the clear results of a restless night’s sleep. His hands were fisted in their fury, and Lily couldn’t help but worry a little for the younger man’s health. Saint’s dark eyes swept the room in an unusually sharp fashion for so early in the morning.

At the table, Wash was having as much more trouble concealing his amusement as Fiona was, though Wash was noticeably less concerned for his own safety.

“Mr. Bari?” Lily ventured, gray eyes wide behind her glasses.

“Ye’ know lad, whatever the kid did, ye’ have to give ‘im credit. I haven’t seen ye’ this awake, this early without coffee in a good long while,” Wash chuckled.

“I had coffee,” Saint hissed. “If you can call it that. Have either of you three ladies seen the brutto cagna?” Wash winced at Saint’s comment, but otherwise ignored it and took a long sip from his coffee.

“I’m sure he heard you coming a couple of miles away, Mr. Saint,” Fiona grinned, not bothering to hide her amusement any further. Wash guffawed behind her as Saint grimaced. “He left not ten minutes ago.”

“Damn coward,” Saint grumbled, his shoulders slumping. He eased his frame into the closest chair, letting his head fall back as he groaned.

“What did he do?” Lily asked, half afraid he would go into another rage again. Saint glanced up at her through still-sleepy eyes and frowned, but sighed and reached across the table for a biscuit.

“I woke up this morning to the smell of freshly brewed coffee. Delicious- just the way I like it, with a hint of vanilla,” Saint started, talking between bites out of the biscuit. “I looked around and on the floor was a cup of the stuff. At first I thought it was from Lily because she was the only other person who’d seen how exhausted I was after last night- no, nothing like that,” Saint growled, glaring at Wash’s raised eyebrow and dirty grin.

“Jesse would have killed me. Anyway, so I basically just drank the whole thing down like you would a shot without tasting any of it at first. I looked down to the bottom of the damn thing when I was done, expectin’ to see grounds, but instead there was dirt. Who the hell else would pull something like that if not Luis? I can’t think of anyone else who has the guts or the motive to make my coffee with dirt instead of beans.”

“...He gave you dirt? And you drank it?” Wash broke the silence, his face torn between amusement, disbelief, and disgust. “We all knew ye’d drink just about anything strong, but dirt?” Wash snorted, shaking his head with a disbelieving grin. “That’s disgusting lad. An’ you complain about my coffee...” He laughed again, and drained his own cup. “Ms. Lily? Another’ cup if ye’d please,” the Irishman motioned to the empty coffee mug.

Lily sniffed, attempting poorly to hide her own malicious grin. “Funny. After that little speech you just gave Mr. Bari, I would’ve thought you’d have wanted nothing to do with it.”

~Evelyn - dirty coffee’s gross. ;p

© 2009 Evelyn and The Five Dollar Mail


Ellie said...

Histarical!!!!!! OMG funniest thing ever! Was it Lily who did that? Nicely done!!!

Evelyn said...

Thanks. ;] He had it coming! Thank you Regina! :D I owe ya big time! X)


Ellie said...

Hey I am starting a blog I you could read it and let me know…